34th letter to Oliver

Dear Oliver,

As promised, I will continue to write here until I lost all my words hehe 😊😊

I am lucky because I have this platform to reach you and you were able to see my letters. Whenever I write my letters, I am happy to think that you will read them. It made me think of all those confession letters we see in some map that they post on the wall where the person to which they write the letter to will never be able to read it, so I think we are lucky enough to have this space, aren't we?

This has become like my diary hehe :)

Oliver, you know that you are very special to me, right?

I really hold you dearly in my heart ♥️

I remember that I told you too that you are a great "mood-changer" because talking to you and hanging out with you really made my mood/ day warm and bright, you can made my mood brighter in an instance, you have that magic on me 🥰🥰

I have also set a different message tone for the Line App so every time I heard that unique tone, I am instantly feeling bright ‘cause I know that it will be your message. LoL crazy how weird this makes me 🤭🫣

The same way that you can make me instantly happy, you can also made me feel sad sometimes too. I feel sad when you ignore my message, when you turn down my invites, when you speak and treat me coldly but don’t worry because I understand it :)

I have all my happy memories with you and one of them is when you invited me for Halloween and Loy Krathong Festival.

I was so happy when you invited me for Halloween because it is the very first time that you invited me ☺️☺️ I am always the one who initiates invites, I am always the one that plans, so when you invited me for the first time I was so happy, it made me feel like I am finally being considered :)

And when you invited me to attend the Loy Krathong Festival, I was the happiest too, so happy that I feel like I am in Cloud 9. I was happy because I am not Thai and it is such an honor to be invited to attend one of the beautiful festival of your country because it made me feel like you are including me in your culture and that is so important to me. I was happy when you told me that you want to attend it with me because people who attend that festival are usually couples, family, and close friends, that made me special, Oliver ☺️😊 I was thinking that time like “Waaaaaa, Oliver is such a sweet guy to consider me to attend with him”

But when you corrected me that I was just the “first” that you invited, it was like I was thrown in cold water, I appreciate your honesty that time but the truth made me sad 🥺🥺 It made me feel like yes I might be special to you but there are other girls that are equally special to you as well.

…and it made me think like “Ohh, maybe I am not special enough. Maybe, I am just like all the others for Oliver”. I was so upset that time when you corrected me in your message, I felt so shy for feeling so special that night 😔😔

I plan all the special celebrations (Christmas, New Year, Birthday, and Valentine’s) with you because I want it to become a special tradition between us two because you are special to me, Oliver. I thought you would want to preserve this special tradition with just me but you made me feel like you want to do the same special traditions with another girl too :(

I know I should not feel that way ‘cause it was so childish to react like that but that’s the truth and I just wanted to tell you :)

All the plans I made with you, like the Christmas celebration, the New Year, the birthday celebration and Valentine’s. The matching outfit, all the map-invites and all our codes, I only did that with you Oliver. I haven’t done it with another guy in Roblox and as an over-thinker girl it made me feel like I consider you 100% special but I am just maybe 25% special to you, that’s what I felt.

I hope you understand what I felt, Oliver 🥺😔 I just want to write this ‘cause I want it out of my chest. I promise to make the following letters as happy as it could be :)

Mahal kita, Oliver 🥺🥺 (Please don’t look up the meaning, it is a secret code, trust me it is not a bad word)

♥️💝♥️